Argumentative Essay on Arranged Marriage
Believe it or not there are two types of marriage, the so-called love marriage and the arranged marriage. Most people today don’t agree with arranged marriages but there are some people who have no say in the matter. Although the arranged marriage is not as desirable as the love marriage it does have its advantages.
Arranged marriages occur all over the world and in some parts is it popular or compulsory and in others not so admired. Most arranged marriages take place in countries such as, Pakistan, Japan, China and India. They are carried out in different ways by many different cultures and religions and are even carried out here in this country.
In Japan the modern system of arranged marriage is somewhat similar to blind dating in the United States. When a women’s parents think she has reached the age at which she can become a wife they set up a packet including a photo, her hobbies and interests. The man would have also done this as well. Then the woman’s family would show it around to any suitable candidates and if both parties agree they will meet up and discuss the final arrangements. Rather different to the way we fall in love.
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Here in England we fall in love by our own accord, we meat a man, or woman, fall in love then cost our parents a fortune by getting married. But this process would take possibly a number of years as where in arranged marriages it only takes just a few months.
In India arranged marriages have been around as long as probably the establishment of marriage itself. The people who play the vital role , the matchmaker are the ‘Aunts’ to them it comes as naturally as breathing. The find a suitable husband and then the bride and groom don’t often see each other until their wedding day.
In all arranged marriages you have to be the same nationality. So East Indians marry East Indians. In the Sikh culture the son or daughter have to marry the same cast, rich marry rich, farmers marry farmers.
Most people living in England today may not think much about arranged marriages and that they can’t possibly have any advantages. Well people who think that are partly wrong they aren’t all good and they do have their disadvantages but in some cases arranged marriages do work out and it is happening a lot in our country too.
Arranged marriages are a convenient way of getting married, the pressure for finding a partner is shared by the family and the chances of being left on the shelf is less likely. Also arranged marriages are often better planned marriages and tend to be planned many years in advance. Parents start saving for their children’s wedding day from almost the time when the child is born. The tradition of having an arranged marriage keeps the family happy. It is often the dream of most parents to see their child married off to a respectable family, ideally in a respectable fashion. They also provide stability for both parties and they have a lower divorce rate, but I think this is due to the fact that the family would not approve of divorce.
There are also a lot of arguments against arranged marriage there is the lack of love and respect between husband and wife, and if the woman or man is in love with another person before the wedding and has no choice but to marry the wrong woman it can often be very difficult. There is also the danger of marring into violence in some cases the husband has been violent towards his wife and the wife was too afraid to speak out ‘ my farther used to beat my mother, for no reason at all, she was to afraid of him to tell anyone and just put up with it for all the years they were married. I never wanted to be involved in an arranged marriage, and my mother respected my wishes despite the disappointment form my farther’ a passage written by an Asian girl living in England who witnessed the disadvantages of arranged marriage. It is also much harder to get a divorce under arranged marriage, it is possible but they would be disowned by their parents and treated badly by their community so the freedom is lost as well as the freedom of choice for the woman or man who is forced into such situations. There is also the lack of opportunity to marry for love.
‘The first time my mother set eyes on my father was on their wedding day, as she entered St George's Cathedral and walked up the aisle. She says she was so scared that it was as if she was sort of detached, floating above, looking down below on another woman who was moments away from being in life-long covenant with a man she'd never seen before.’ taken from an article written by an English girl whose parents had been subject to an arranged marriage, very uncommon, and tells us all about her views on arranged marriages.
So what is your view on arranged marriages? Has this article widened your knowledge? My opinion is that they are good for some cultures if they are successful but they would never become popular in England and I feel for those of a different culture that do live here and have no choice in the matter, although they may not even think about what they are doing really its just their way of life.
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Arranged marriage refers to a marital union between a man and a woman, whereby families and relatives identify and select spouses for their children with or without their input or choice. These marriages have long been a practice of numerous cultures, particularly before the 18th century. However, some communities do practice them to date. Some people consider such marriages as old-fashioned despite research finding that document their divorce rates at two percent as compared to love marriages that attract a rate of fifty percent in some countries. Thus, these unions bring great things, but they also attract negative aspects.
Arranged marriages eliminate the stress associated with dating. The pressure people undergo when finding potential spouses to settle down with is often overwhelming, discouraging, stressful and mostly result in heartaches. It is because one has to meet several people, some of whom are uninterested in marriage, some do not fit with one’s marital requirements, and others who are a potential match are uninterested in matrimony. However, an arranged marriage eliminates all these scenarios, as one is sure the people they meet want marriage, and they do not have to worry about conflicting personalities as marriage presents a perfect opportunity to adjust.
Parents and family find the right spouse for their children and secure their future in arranged marriages. Every parent endeavors to give the best to their children while hoping they live happy lives as possible. Arranged marriages present families the opportunity to ensure this by taking upon themselves to find the right husband or wife. Due to the immense wisdom and experience parents have about marriage, they precisely choose a son or daughter in law from a respectable family, who share a similar religion, are equally educated, well settled in life and wealthy. The selected spouse thus results in a perfect match that outcome in a happy marriage and a secured life.
These unions assure family harmony. Whenever an individual takes a potential spouse to their family, there is the possibility of them not approving or liking them or having a good relationship with their families. Arranged marriage eliminates this as both families knowingly fix their children to the family of their choice. Also, before agreeing, parents conduct extensive research on the other family before approval. Hence, eliminating reasons to hate or argue with them. Consequently, good relationships and connections that are long-lasting result.
Contrary, this type of marriage robs off individuals of their right to choose. When a family and relatives decide their child’s spouse, it makes it impossible for the child to raise concerns, fears, and objections, even when they dislike or are incompatible with the potential spouse. It, therefore, makes such individuals powerless and hopeless. Hence, practically push them into forced arrangements that rouse unhappiness, depression, and misery.
People wedded through arranged marriages lack ownership of the nuptials. These people rarely feel in control of the institution as everything about it, including, whom to marry, when to wed and the type of wedding to have are a choice and plan of their families. Additionally, even after marriage, families control and weigh in on their actions and plans. Thus, the married couple misses opportune moments for them to bond, own the process and the resulting marriage. Moreover, it instills lack of decisiveness and direction for the institution.
In conclusion, arranged marriages avail numerous benefits that pave the way for long-lasting successful marriages for many couples. However, it is worth noting that lack of freedom and control of the choice of a spouse one ends up married to, increasingly results in these marriages failing.